Saturday, December 23, 2006

Ebonify Dis Whack English!

Whitey's Guide to Ebonics: A guide to learning ebonics, translated for middle class white people.

For those of you who may not understand what is meant by the term "Ebonics," let alone da wordz dat make up dis krazy language, I'm givin you a few simple definitions. The definition you can most relate to will determine how "not-so-black" you are, and will serve as a good indicator of how much work you will need to do in catchin' up with the rest of us. (The "not-so-black" quote comes from muh man, Voddie Baucham.)

The “You Be White” Definition: African-American slang which is not usually readily understood by caucasions.

The “You’za Cracka” Definition: A version of english made up of a variety of slang words. Stands for ebony and phonics. Widely spoken among the African-American culture.

The “You Be Mo’ White Than a Powduhd Donut in a Glass o’ Milk on a Paypuh Plate in a Snow Storm” Definition: A "variation" of English entirely made up of slang and southern word shortenings. It is generally spoken in the "hood" (neighborhood) and has almost no defined syntactical structure. Also of note is the almost complete lack of conjugation of verbs ("I be", "she be", "thems be", etc) and the mixing of pronouns. When spoken in any educated circles, its usage usually screams "I am illiterate."

Below is a list of wordz to get you started . . .

Christmas creep - A phenomenon where the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier each year. If they don't keep the Christmas creep under control, the season will start in June before we know it.

compunicate - to chat with someone in the same room via instant messaging service instead of in person.

dandruff - a person who "flakes out" and ditches their friends.

ringtone DJ - an annoying person who shuffles through all of their ringtones incessantly.

ginormous - the combination of gigantic and enormous

I be spittin mo ebonica in deez comin dayz. Stay wit me now . . .

~ C-Shizzle

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