Monday, January 15, 2007

More Reasons to Watch 24

As if there were any reason to watch a show other than 24, here are a few more tidbits that may tickle your fancy and titillate your trigger finger:

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack Bauer’s calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's beef.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal.

Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret.

If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.

1 comment:

Life. said...

As a fan of 24, I found this very funny. Great work.