This week has been a trying one for me. Whether it be the snow and ice, failed windshield wipers, reconfiguring two hectic work schedules, starting a new Bible study, watching my cell phone fly through the air and smash into pieces, or having your wallet and everything inside it stolen...while you're in the process of applying for a passport...if you asked me the question, "How are you doing?" I would have to say, "Better than I deserve."
It's strange how often we allow ourselves to compare our situations with some imaginery perfect one and get dissatisfied. But when I stop and think about it, I am very fortunate.
My friends are far better than I deserve. They put up with all my quirks and sillies. My family has been there for me when they could have easily laughed me to the curb. My church, local and on-campus, treats me with dignity and loving accountability. I have jobs that help me pay the bills. I have a car that gets me where I need to go. I have a couch to sit on, a bed to sleep on, a computer to blog on, and clothes to put on. I have so many things I don't deserve.
I have been given an imagination, which I used quite regularly. I have been blessed with the ability to sing and play music. I have been given eyes to see, ears to hear, and a mind to use for the glory of God. Of course, the next breath that I am going to take is not something that is mine by right, any more than the pulsing of my heart is anything that I have done something to earn. So being allowed to live—let alone being saved by the sacrifice of Jesus—is much, much, more than I deserve.
So given all these things for which I have to be grateful, why is it that the quality and extent of my worship of Jesus remains so much less than He deserves from me?